Frozen Over
by Hiril Moon
Summary: Ever wonder what Bobby was thinking during that final battle with Pyro? Contains unbelievably mild BobbyJohn slash.


**Warnings:** This story contains mild slash and spoilers for X2 and X3.

**Frozen Over**

How did we get to this, John?

No, not John. You're not John anymore, are you? You stopped being him a long time ago.

You're Pyro now.

In a way, I know I should have seen it coming. Even this. If I had known you were going to go to Magneto, I would've also known I would have to fight you.

I'm one of the X-Men. You're a member of the Brotherhood. It's that simple.

Or is anything about us simple?

Fire and ice. We should've been enemies all along, but we weren't. We were friends. Best friends. I even hoped that we might become something more.

But that was back then. This is now.

That was John. This is Pyro.

When did it start? When Rogue came? After that? Before she arrived, I would've noticed. I used to know everything about you. Watching you all the time, even when I wasn't supposed to.

Then she showed up, and… I don't know why I left you for her. Maybe I just wanted things to be easier. I never really thought it through.

I know that at some point afterwards you started sneaking off. Not saying where you were going or if you'd come back.

Playing with your powers.

Sometimes vanishing for whole days.

Not listening to me.

Ignoring me.

It hurt. It hurt more than I can really say. That may be why I started to get closer to Rogue. Because you were shutting me out and she let me in. Because it seemed obvious that you didn't care about me at all.

I didn't understand what was happening though. Not then. I didn't realise until you attacked those cops. Burned them. Let lose your powers without any restraint.

It scared me. _You _scared me.

That was when it finally occurred to me that John Allerdyce was fading away, only to be replaced by Pyro. Someone completely different to the one I cared for.

I watched you talking to Magneto. I could see you were interested. Partly in his ideas, but also in what it meant for you. Going with him meant no more Professor X holding you back.

Did it ever cross your mind what else you'd leave behind? Did you ever think of me at all?

Then you left the jet, with barely more than one last throwaway comment. No goodbyes. No sign that I'd never see you again. At least, not John.

I'm not sure what I would've done if I had known what was going to happen. I'd like to think that I would've stopped you, but how? Created an ice wall to keep you inside? Frozen you? That would never work on you; you've proven that so many times.

Gone with you?

Did I care enough about you enough to join Magneto? Abandon the X-Men? Turn my back on everything I'd been brought up to think and feel and believe?

I think I did.

Then several months passed without hearing from you. I knew that you were still alive; the fires on the news proved that. But nothing specifically from you to us. To me. No letters, no phone calls, no e-mails, nothing.

You just forgot me. The same way I tried to forget about you.

But I couldn't. That was one of the things I loved about you. The way you made an impression, the way everyone remembered you.

That might have been why I started drifting away from Rogue. I left you to be with her, but once you'd left, I didn't feel the same way anymore. I just felt trapped, like I'd had a choice and made the wrong decision.

When she disappeared, it was more guilt than love that made me follow her. If I had really loved her, wouldn't I have done more? Gone inside to look for her? Instead, I just stayed on the opposite side of the road.

And then I saw you.

You looked so different. Different hair, different clothes, different attitude. You didn't even have your lighter anymore. There was nothing left of John, there was just Pyro. You'd found your place, and it wasn't with me.

For a moment, I just wanted to hit you, to try to shake some sense into you. But I didn't.

Then you started taunting me. Acting as if I cared about Rogue, now that I'd found you again. Did you really believe that, compared to her, you were nothing? Even as you made it clear where your loyalties lay, I still wanted things to be the way they were.

Before everything started changing.

I had to walk away. Had to keep up a mask, a lie. Because I couldn't show how I felt, not anymore. You didn't care. If I said anything, gave anything away, you'd use it against me. So I had to hide what I was thinking, had to get away, even as I heard the building go up in flames behind me.

After that, things just kept getting worse. Class 5 mutants responsible for the deaths of mentors going to Magneto's side. Cure weapons. Hearing about the attack on Alcatraz.

I'm not sure exactly why I went with the X-Men. I had to be convinced, I know that much. But did I really agree with what Wolverine said to me, or did I just want to see you again?

Even by X-Men standards, we were outnumbered. Magneto had hundreds, possibly thousands of mutants on his side. We had just the six of us. We couldn't depend on the soldiers not shooting us in the backs, we could just hope.

Then stopping wave after wave of your side. It's obvious Magneto's a strategist, obvious he's been planning every detail… The same way it's obvious you're enjoying yourself.

It was strange, when I finally saw you in action. Shooting bursts of flames at cars, igniting them, sometimes firing at more than one at once… You'd think I would've felt something. I should've felt anger or disappointment, the same way I know the rest of them did.

But I didn't.

I didn't even feel what I was actually expecting. No sense of amazement, or wonder. I wasn't impressed.

I didn't feel _anything_.

Do you understand, John? Pyro? There was nothing where there should've been something. There still isn't a single feeling.

When did that happen? When did I stop feeling? Even looking back, I can't see. The same way I can never see that one point where you started changing.

"_Think you can take out your old friend?"_

That was such an odd way of saying it. He was asking me to fight you. From the way he had been fighting, he might have wanted me to kill you.

So why remind me of what we used to be? How would that help me fight you?

All the same, walking out towards you… It felt right. It felt like this was what I was supposed to be doing. In a way, what I should have done a while ago.

I wasn't surprised when you started coming towards me. It all felt so natural, it would've been stranger if you hadn't. If you'd refused to fight me. It's where we've been headed this whole time. I just couldn't see it until now.

That's how we got here. Because there was no other way. There was no real choice. There was no alternative, in the end. However else I might have wanted it.

Why?

Because I think we need each other. As friends, as rivals, as whatever I wanted us to be. We're still drawn together. Fire and ice. You melt me and I freeze you.

In so many ways… We complete each other.

So here we are. Two old friends, now trying to kill each other. Or you are, anyway.

Am I? Probably not.

At first, I held back. I didn't want to hurt you. Not badly, at least. You had no such doubts though. You just ploughed straight in.

That trait's leftover from John, I know that. It's bizarre, seeing something so familiar where everything else has changed.

I'm increasing my own output now, but it isn't having much effect, if it's having any at all. Your fire just pushes back at me, unrelenting.

For a moment, my ice works. Your fire is pushed back, just a small amount. Is this it? Are we equally matched?

No.

That one second of defiance seems to break any restraints you had before. Your blaze surges back, easily reaching me, melting my ice even as I try to form it.

The heat's intense. What little ice I'm able to form is now being used to protect me from it. An almost pitifully small shield in the face of an inferno.

You're walking towards me. I can barely hear anything over the sound of flames, but I can faintly see you through the melting ice and heat haze.

You're smiling.

You're _enjoying_ this.

You _want _to see me burn. Or melt, whichever I'll do. I'll find out soon.

Funny. I've wondered so many times about how I'll die. We used to discuss it, remember? Me and John. The girls used to complain that we were being too morbid. We'd just laugh. I always found easy to laugh around you.

I can't remember the last time I laughed.

We came up with such outrageous ways to die. Death by paper-cuts, cheese-graters… All so stupid and meaningless in the end.

We could be serious as well. Maybe we'd be shot by the police. Trapped in a building with a bomb. Have our throats cut. Drowned. Ambushed. Strangled.

I never thought _you_ would kill me.

Or that you would almost be laughing when you did.

With each step you take, the heat intensifies. It's almost something physical now. Driving me back. Forcing me to my knees.

I can see you standing over me. You've won. You've beaten me.

But you're not letting up.

The flames are surrounding me, burning me. It's like being trapped in an oven. Winning clearly isn't enough for you. You have to go all the way. Just like John.

With every moment that passes, I can see more and more of Johns' traits and habits in you, Pyro. Are you two really as separate as I'd thought? Maybe you haven't changed so much, after all. Whoever you are.

Forget anything about defence or shields. I'm turning my ice inside now. Trying to stop myself burning inside.

Although it would almost be worth it, just to feel something again.

Fire seems to take up all of my vision now. You're only there as a vague shape behind it; a strange, sinister silhouette. But I know you're still having fun.

Maybe this is Hell already. What did I die of? The flames all around me, or the ice burrowing deeper and deeper inside myself, even as it spreads throughout my body, on every possible level.

I don't feel anything for Rogue

You don't care about me at all.

You probably never did.

Is it any wonder I've frozen over?

**Author's Notes**: Yes, I'm a John/Bobby slash fan. Or Pyro/Iceman, however you want to put it. I like this couple a lot and kind of wish it hadn't been so watered down whilst I was writing this. Ah well.

Written maybe a day or so after seeing X3 with my wonderful friends-who-didn't-try-to-kill-me-even-though-I-squealed-every-time-Pyro-came-on. Very nice people to have around, particularly for my life-span.

I can't actually believe how quickly this got onto I started this last week in my notebook, wrote 11 A5 pages in about 4 or 5 half-hour slots (when I really should have been catching up on sleep), then typed it up in about 3 or 4 days! That may not sound impressive, but for me… Woo.

Little lost about what to do next. I've got three ideas (all X-Men, all with John and Bobby). Can I get an opinion on what you think I should work on next?

1) Burning Up—Runs parallel to this fic, but John's thoughts at the same point. Mild slash.

2) Visions in the Ice—Sequel to Voices in the Fire. Bobby's point of view, goes AU now that X3's come out. Would turn this idea into a trilogy, since that's' the way it's planned… No slash.

3) AU—Doesn't have a title. AU from the end of X2, with the idea that Bobby chooses to go with John and join Magneto's side. Heavy slash.

Whee. Long notes. Don't ya love 'em?


End file.
